


all of our walls

by seokkwan



Series: take me to the feeling [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, mentions of soonhan, past Jaehyun/Seokmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-16 11:50:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11828157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seokkwan/pseuds/seokkwan
Summary: "It wasn't the first time Seokmin locked himself out of his apartment, in fact it happened more often than not, although most days he was lucky enough to be let in by one of his roommates."(aka seokmin keeps accidentally running into his hot neighbor seungcheol)





	all of our walls

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yoonbot (iverins)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iverins/gifts).



> this was my first fic exchange, so i hope this is something along the lines of what you were hoping for!! also i hope you're a seokcheol fan, i've been wanting to write them for a while now & i was excited when i saw they were one of the pairings you listed
> 
> thank you [@soonhan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/soonhan) as always for your support while i was writing this & for editing!! you're always here to pick up where the north american schooling system failed me
> 
> & thank you @seokshine_mod for answering my questions & being a great pal

“Please pick up,” Seokmin muttered to himself, tapping his foot impatiently as he stared at his locked apartment door. His keys were likely sitting just ten feet away behind the door on the kitchen counter, where he always left them.

“You have reached the voicemail of ‘Seungkwan’, please leave a message after the beep.”

The front door brushed against his back as he sank down onto the floor. After three attempted calls and several frantic text messages, he finally decided to give up, his roommate was likely at work. With Seungkwan he at least hoped he’d be able to get in contact, unlike his other roommate, Vernon, whose phone he heard ringing behind the door likely right beside his keys.

It wasn't the first time Seokmin had locked himself out of his apartment, in fact it happened more often than not, although most days he was lucky enough to be let in by one of his roommates. Today he wasn't so lucky considering it was a Friday evening and his roommates had probably already left for the night. Seokmin opened the internet browser on his phone, typing “how to pick a lock” into the search bar. Maybe there would be new information since the last time he checked.

After successfully finding a paperclip at the bottom of his backpack, Seokmin rested his ear against the door and shoved the end slowly into the keyhole, listening closely for any clicks inside the lock. It didn't seem to matter what direction he stuck the paper clip in, he couldn't hear anything. He squatted in front of the lock, trying to peer inside the tiny hole as he tried again.

“Can I help you?”

Seokmin lost balance, dropping both the paperclip and his phone as he fell on his ass. His heart beat rapidly, looking up at the person he had been too distracted to hear approach him. The man seemed rather large from the position he was currently in and Seokmin had definitely never seen him around before.

“This isn't what it looks like!” He quickly reached for his things, shoving them back into his pockets. “I live here! I just left my keys inside!”

“If you live here, why didn't you just call the landlord?” The man was standing in the doorway of the apartment across the hall from him, in basketball shorts and a form fitting t-shirt with a gym bag swung over his shoulder. His arms were crossed as he stared down at Seokmin, who was still on the ground, with an arched eyebrow. Seokmin noticed the toned muscles of his arms and legs and how nicely he filled out his shirt. He couldn't help but admire how attractive he was- this man who had apparently been living across from him this whole time.

“I don't know the landlord's number!” Seokmin could feel his heart beating rapidly against his chest, and he prayed that one of his roommates would exit the elevator and help him out. “I swear I live here!”

The man sighed, uncrossing his arms and holding his hand out for Seokmin. “The landlord's number is on the door of their office.”

Seokmin wiped his palms, which had begun to sweat, on his pants before taking the man's hand and allowing him to pull him to his feet. “I don't know where their office is.”

Laughing, the man shook his head. “First floor, a little down the hall to the right of the elevators. You know, you're really not making a good case that you actually live here.”

Saved by the literal bell, Seokmin’s phone began to ring in his pocket. “Wait! It might be my roommate.” Seokmin felt a wave of relief hit him as the caller ID read “my boo”.

“Seokmin, I swear to god, if I have to leave work during my lunch break one more time because you forgot your keys again-,” Seokmin held his hand over the receiver, mouthing “roommate” to his neighbour, before turning slightly to avoid what he imagined to be a judging look “-next time you're walking to my work, you're lucky I forgot my lunch and was heading home anyway.”

“I love you! I love you! How far are you?”

“Five minutes, come meet me at the front door.”

“I will! You're the best!” Seokmin couldn't hold back his grin when he turned back to his neighbour, who was still watching him suspiciously. “That was my roommate! He's on his way.”

“I heard.” The man snickered, shaking his head once again while he pulled his own keys out of his gym bag. “Next time just call the landlord, you can't pick a lock with a paperclip.”

“I should get going.” His face began to heat up the longer he stared at the man in front of him, which he realized may have been a few seconds too long.

“I'm Seokmin!” He blurted out as he turned on his heels, opting to take the stairs today rather than make an even bigger fool of himself in front of his unfairly hot neighbour while waiting for the elevator.

\--

Seokmin’s keys had definitely been in his hands at some point as he raced out the door that morning. He does remember Seungkwan shouting at him not to forget them while he was brushing his teeth but they, like usual, didn't make it out the door with him. Nor did his backpack, which he had decided not to take with him last minute. The keys were probably sitting in the front pocket, along with his wallet which he’d also forgotten.

Lately he had taken to waiting in the McDonald's across the street, sitting at the table closest to the window facing his building so he could watch for either of his roommates to return. The plan was perfect, since he could avoid Seungkwan’s lectures and he didn't have to worry about dinner when he got home. Unfortunately today without his wallet he was left in his too familiar spot, sitting with his back to his door mindlessly playing a game on his phone.

Every so often he glanced up, staring at the apartment door across from him, wondering if the man he’d run into a couple weeks ago was home. They’d never run into each other in the previous months Seokmin had been living in the building, but now every time he found himself without his keys his handsome neighbour was arriving home from the gym or leaving for it. He always made sure to take a quick look at the other tenants sharing the elevator or the laundry room with him just to make sure, but running into him literally right out outside his door was a major risk and it was also one of the reasons he’d started occupying the McDonald's.

Seokmin never bothered asking their landlord to let him in. He did consider it, he had even paced in front of their office door a couple times, but Vernon texted him back just as he was mustering up the courage to knock that he was in class and would be home in an hour. Breathing out a sigh of relief, he had headed back towards the elevators. It wasn't the longest he’d ever waited.

According to the time, Vernon would be back in approximately ten minutes. He could feel himself becoming more and more impatient, tapping on the wall beside him as his stomach growled. Maybe he could text Vernon to meet him at the pizza place nearby. Just as he picked up his phone again, the elevator down the hall dinged. Seokmin lifted his chin, craning his neck to look down the hallway- Vernon may have gotten out of class early. Instead out stepped a man in black slacks with shoes that looked way more expensive than Seokmin’s entire wardrobe put together, definitely not Vernon. Picking up his phone again and crossing his legs in case the fellow tenant had to pass him, Seokmin opened his messages to text Vernon about the food.

“It was Seokmin, right?”

He always did seem to have the worst of luck. The sound of his neighbour’s familiar deep voice made him jump to his feet, he hadn’t even needed to look up to know exactly who it was. He wasn’t in gym attire this time, instead he wore black slacks and a white dress shirt with rolled up sleeves and a loosened tie. He somehow looked even better than the first time they met and Seokmin almost felt like he was losing his grip on reality.

“Yeah.” Seokmin nodded rather quickly and way too many times. “I'm just waiting for my roommate to get home.”

“Outside your apartment?” A smile spread across his face, of course he had a great smile.

“It's a surprise?” Lying wasn't one of his strong suits, in fact he could say he was pretty horrible at it.

His neighbour laughed. “Do you forget your keys often?”

“Yeah…,” Seokmin admitted, ducking his head and accepting defeat. “I never had my own keys at home, I don't think my parents trusted me with them, and I can't seem to get into the habit.”

“I'm Seungcheol.” He held out his hand for Seokmin to shake. His grip was firm, which was taking all Seokmin’s willpower to ignore in that moment. “You can come inside and wait if you want? You seem like a decent enough guy.”

Running was definitely not an option again, but it was still hard to convince himself not to book it towards the staircase. Holding himself together was already a struggle and he was hardly keeping eye contact, so following him into his apartment would definitely be too much for him.

“It's okay, my roommate should be here any minute.”

“Okay.” Seungcheol nodded as he pulled his own keys out. “Rain check then?” he asked, turning back to smile at him one more time before entering his apartment.

As Seungcheol's door closed behind him Seokmin took in a deep breath, feeling as if he hadn’t been breathing the entire time. He wondered if this was enough of an emergency to pull Seungkwan out of work so he could over-analyze everything that had just happened. He ultimately decided against it when he heard the ding of the elevator on his floor again. Thankfully it was Vernon who exited and not some other handsome neighbour that he’d been completely ignorant of.

\--

Neither of them had expected Seungcheol’s offer of a rain check to be so literal, but the blizzard warnings Seokmin had been hearing about all week turned out to be very real. After walking home from his bus stop took twice the amount of time that it normally did all Seokmin wanted to do was to change and curl up in his bed. Instead he’d been invited in by Seungcheol, who’d heard him whine rather loudly from outside his door after his shaking hands had no luck in finding his keys.

Stepping inside Seungcheol’s apartment was like walking into an ad for an interior design magazine. All his furniture seemed to complement each other, down to his curtains and throw pillows. He also made use of the space off of the kitchen and living room and turned it into a dining room, as it was likely intended- not sectioned off by dividers and turned into Vernon’s room. It was like an alternate reality of his own apartment, a reality of someone who has their life together and wasn’t squeezing three people into a one bedroom apartment.

Seokmin stood in the doorway, taking in all his surroundings and not wanting to move an inch and dirty anything that likely cost more than he could afford. He even felt bad looking down at his shoes when he realized he’d left muddy footprints on his welcome mat.

He hadn't even noticed Seungcheol left the room until he returned with a towel, tossing it to Seokmin

“Here, let me hang up some of your some of your clothes.” He extended his hand out, taking his jacket. A wave of regret washed over Seokmin after he removed his jacket, and he wanted to kick himself for grabbing a white t-shirt that day since the now near see-through material was clinging to his torso. He quickly wrapped the towel around his shoulders, shielding his chest.

“I could get you a change of clothes if you want?” Seungcheol offered.

“Oh no.” Seokmin ducked his head, trying to suppress his nervous smile. The last thing he needed in that moment was to wear an outfit from the man he’d be infatuated with for the past month. “It's okay, I'll just stay away from all your furniture.”

Seungcheol laughed, shaking his head as he turned towards his bedroom. “You can just bring everything back to me when your roommate gets home, I'm not going to make you stand like that in my doorway.”

The chances of Seokmin dreaming up this scenario was way more likely than his current situation being real. It was entirely too domestic, sitting under blankets on his handsome neighbour's couch, wearing his cozy sweater and trackpants while he placed two mugs of hot chocolate on the table in front of him. He probably would have felt less like he was about to die if he was still out in that storm.

“You didn't have to do this,” Seokmin repeated for the fourth time since he’d been handed a pile of clothes and wrapped in a blanket with a hot drink. “I mean you hardly know me, I could just be scoping out of the place so I can break in later.”

“I've seen your lockpicking skills, I'm not too worried.” Seungcheol laughed, taking a seat beside Seokmin. “Besides there's a blizzard going on outside, you would have frozen to death out in the hallway.”

“My roommates were supposed to be home tonight.” Seokmin reached for his hot chocolate to warm his hands. “We order pizza on Friday nights.”

“Roommates?” Seungcheol asked, raising his eyebrows. “How many people do you live with?”

“Well.” Seokmin paused for a minute. His lease stated only two people per apartment and no pets, but getting a place so close to their school was expensive and there was no way the three of them could afford a bigger place. “There's me, Vernon and Seungkwan.”

“In my first apartment there were four of us. It was a two bedroom, so in theory it didn't seem too bad, but then my friend who I shared my room with started dating someone, and they practically moved in as well. And then my two other roommates started dating each other and we had very thin walls.” Seungcheol shook his head, letting out a sigh as he reached for his mug as well. “I do sometimes miss having people to come home to though.”

“I don't think I could survive in the city if it wasn't for my roommates. I can barely even survive with them.”

“Yeah, we were all like that too.” Seungcheol smiled fondly. “I don't get to see them much anymore, I probably won't see them again until Jeonghan and Soonyoung's wedding.” He face visibly dropped, his expression changing into a grimace. “They were the roommates who were dating.”

“Do you not like weddings?”

“I love weddings, it's just- it's honestly kind of embarrassing.” Seungcheol covered his eyes with his hand. “I checked off for a plus one months ago and I don't have a date anymore. I've been so busy with work, I haven't had time to meet anyone.”

“Oh.” Seokmin couldn't imagine it being hard for someone like Seungcheol to find a date. “Is it too late to cancel the plus one? Or maybe you could take a friend?”

“All my friends are going, and-” Seungcheol cut himself off, shaking his head before laughing at himself. “I haven't told my friends yet that my ex and I broke up. They were so excited to meet him and I haven't found the time to tell them. God, I'm so screwed.”

Him. He had definitely just said _him_. Seokmin's heart was pounding rapidly, just knowing that his hot neighbour was interested in men made his entire fixation a hundred times worse. Previously he thought he had zero chance with Seungcheol- he had a gym membership, a decent apartment in the city to himself and what seemed to be a real adult job-, but now his chances had to have at least gone up a little bit, even if it was only a 0.5% chance.

“I could pretend to be your boyfriend.” The words came out so fast that Seokmin even shocked himself. It may have been his wishful thinking giving him a false sense of confidence.

“I mean, if you can't find anyone else, I'd go with you.” He had no control over the nervous laugh that followed, and he wanted to hide under the blanket draped over him.

Seungcheol didn't respond for a moment, the longest moment of Seokmin's life, and if he hadn't been so painfully aware of the clock on the wall ticking he would have guessed they sat in silence for an hour.

“That could work.” Seungcheol muttered, his expression focused as he thought about it. “Are you free next Saturday?”

\--

Seungkwan had nearly choked when he told him why he needed to borrow a dress shirt and a tie.

“I still can't believe you managed to land a date with the hot neighbour.” He shook his head as he folded Seokmin’s collar over the tie.

“Yeah, isn’t he like thirty?” Vernon asked from across the room where he was scrolling through his phone over at his computer desk, Seokmin hadn’t even realized he was listening.

“No,” Seokmin corrected him. “He’s only a few years older than us.”

“What would you have done if I wasn’t home? Hansol doesn’t own dress clothing either.” Seungkwan smoothed down Seokmin’s shirt, adjusting his tie before stepping back.

“We share a closet, so I knew where everything was anyway.” Seungkwan narrowed his eyes at the comment before stepping back to look him over.

“You know I could have gone shopping with you if you’d told me about this earlier and hadn’t waited until an hour before you were supposed to leave.”

“Does it not look good?” Seokmin spun around to his hallway mirror, playing with his tie as he looked himself over. The chest of the shirt was definitely a lot tighter than any of the shirts he owned- he regretted spending the money he’d planned to use for his outfit on the Chinese food he ordered in the other night.

“No, you look cute,” Seungkwan sighed as he walked over to him, reaching for his shirt cuffs. “You might want to keep the sleeves rolled up though so they don’t look so short on you.”

“I’m going to make an idiot out of myself,” Seokmin whined, using his other hand to smack himself in the forehead. “How am I going to keep my story straight?”

“You’re always an idiot,” Seungkwan teased before smiling up at him. “But it’s endearing, no one’s going to question the relationship unless you act suspicious.” He paused, looking Seokmin over one more time. “There, all done!”

Seokmin’s stomach flipped at his words, Seungcheol would be over to pick him up anytime. Making impulsive decisions before thinking was going to send him to his grave one day.

\--

The wedding was way smaller than any wedding he’d been to before, he wasn't sure if there was even thirty people in total at the ceremony. He sort of felt like he was intruding, since everyone else in the room seemed to be close with the grooms. He assumed he was the only stranger there. It didn't help that Seungcheol was one of Jeonghan's best men and therefore part of the wedding party, leaving Seokmin to sit by himself in the back row beside teary eyed people he’d never met.

Although in the end he was finding it hard to hold back tears himself, despite never having met the couple. The ceremony was beautiful- at most weddings Seokmin found himself unintentionally tuning out the officiant as they drawled on for longer than his patience could take, he couldn't say he was bored this time around. The fact that Seungcheol was in his line of sight may have helped in keeping his attention.

Seungcheol was preoccupied for most the wedding, first making his rounds and speaking to all his old friends and the couple’s families, and then he had to stop and pose for pictures and later it was giving his speech during dinner. They hadn’t had much time to spend together, though Seokmin found himself not minding when Seungcheol would rush over to him between breaks, resting his head on Seokmin’s shoulder and apologize for ditching him again.

Playing the part of Seungcheol’s boyfriend was surprisingly easy, and it was almost too simple to get lost in the moment with him. The way he’d place his hand on the small of Seokmin’s back while they’d chat with other guests was comforting and anytime he started to feel nervous and suspected someone wasn’t buying their act, Seungcheol would begin rubbing his back and steer the conversation away. Reaching for his hand when they walked together around the venue was beginning to feel familiar, even if it felt as if his heart skipped a beat whenever he was the one to make the first move. The only thing he couldn’t get used to was Seungcheol kissing his cheek before he’d run off to another wedding task, his face breaking into a huge smile each time, finding it hard to focus on anything else but the feeling of his lips for the next few minutes.

It wasn’t until hours into the wedding that they finally had time alone. The couple’s first dance had just ended and everyone was breaking apart to grab snacks or join Jeonghan and Soonyoung on the dance floor. Seungcheol grabbed Seokmin’s hand a few moments after the song ended, pulling him away from the crowd and over to an empty table where he grabbed an untouched bottle of wine. He asked him if he wanted to step out for a minute before they retreated out the backdoor of the building towards a bench. Seungcheol let out a long breath as he sat down, commenting on how exhausted he already was before twisting the top off the wine bottle and taking a sip before offering it to Seokmin as well.

Seungcheol tipped back his head as he took another swig from the bottle of wine, and Seokmin couldn't seem to tear his eyes away, watching his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. His lips were full and shiny when he handed the bottle back to Seokmin and he wasn't sure if it was just the alcohol that was causing him to feel so lightheaded.

Something was wrong though. Seokmin couldn't exactly put his finger on what it was, but the atmosphere seemed to be changing the longer they sat outside. Seungcheol's fingers tapped erratically on the bench between the two of them and his teeth pressed into his bottom lip, each passing moment making him feel further and further away. Taking a deep breath, Seokmin worked up the courage to grab Seungcheol's hand, linking their fingers together. It was different now, not like it had been when they were inside. No one was watching now, and they didn't have to put on a show when it was just the two of them. Maybe he could blame it on the alcohol.

Seungcheol let out a deep sigh, laughing humorlessly. “Sorry, I didn't realize I was tapping. It used to drive Jeonghan crazy too.”

“No, it's okay.” Seokmin squeezed his hand with what he hoped came across as reassurance. He watched the leaves on the tree across from them rustle in the light breeze, he couldn't bring himself to look back at Seungcheol. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, well...” Seungcheol brushed his thumb against Seokmin's hand, and even the slightest touch made his stomach tighten. “I'm happy for Soonyoung and Jeonghan, don't get me wrong. They're both my best friends and I love them so much. I just…” Seungcheol rubbed circles into Seokmin's hand while he paused to think. “I just can't help but be jealous of what they have.”

There was a hitch in Seokmin's breath as he turned to face Seungcheol again, and he hoped it wasn't too noticeable. If they were really dating and Seungcheol had actually been his boyfriend of eight months this may have been easier. All Seokmin wanted in that moment was to be exactly what Seungcheol needed. He wanted to run his thumb across his lower lip where he’d be biting it before giving him a gentle kiss. He wanted to wrap him in his arms, hold him and tell him he could be that for him.

But they weren't on a real date.

“You'll have it someday too.” Seokmin gave him a small smile. “I'm not just saying that, I know you will.” He voice grew smaller as he finished.

“Thank you.” Seungcheol squeezed his hand in return before taking another drink from the bottle. “I've just been busy with work lately and I hate coming home to an empty apartment. Maybe I should get a dog or something.”

“Yeah!” Seokmin exclaimed, a smile spreading across his face. “I could dogsit whenever you're out of town and take it on walks and feed it when you're at work!”

“You're adorable.” Seungcheol shook his head, smiling fondly. He paused for a moment, staring down at their intertwined fingers. “Thank you for coming with me, I know this was a bit pathetic, but I appreciate you going along with everything.”

“It was fun.” Seokmin leaned across Seungcheol to grab the wine bottle. He needed something to distract himself from his blush that was threatening to spread. “And I'm a broke college student, we never pass up on free alcohol and food.”

“I really do mean it.” Seokmin's whole body froze when Seungcheol moved his other hand to rest on his thigh. “And you clean up nice.” His face was definitely closer than it had been moments ago.

“So do you.” Seokmin's entire face was definitely on fire and the air around him was suddenly feeling way too hot. He wanted to follow it up with a smooth line about how he always looked good, but he couldn't find the right words, or any for that matter.

When he looked back at Seungcheol he realized his eyes were glued to Seokmin's lips. There was no doubt that Seungcheol was tipsy, maybe even leaning more towards drunk at this point considering they’d been drinking since dinner, but Seokmin wasn't exactly sober himself. Seungcheol had just admitted he was lonely though, and drunk and vulnerable weren't exactly a great combination for the person you're wanting to kiss. Yet his chest still ached for it, even if he knew it was wrong.

“Hey love birds.” Seokmin jumped at the sound of Jeonghan's voice, tearing his hand away from Seungcheol as if he was a teenager who was just caught in the act before turning to face him. “You realize we do have more free alcohol inside right? And glasses you can drink from.”

“Thanks, asshole.” Seungcheol sighed, placing his hand on the small of Seokmin's back as he lead them both inside.

“Love you too, Cheol.” Jeonghan sang in a bright voice, smiling and following them inside.

Seokmin wasn't sure if relief was the right word to use when they returned to the venue, especially when he’d just realized how entirely fucked he was.

They approached Soonyoung who was standing by the snack table and stuffing his face with cookies. His face lit up when he noticed Jeonghan, causing his full cheeks to puff out. Seokmin could see what Seungcheol meant when he said he wanted their relationship, it was heartwarming to watch Jeonghan pull his husband into his arms and kiss his stuffed cheeks while they both giggled. The way Jeonghan watched Soonyoung, smiling along to everything he said while he talked, almost like he’d forgotten about everyone else in the room, Seokmin couldn't help but be endeared by them. Even though Seungcheol had told him earlier this is what they were always like and it wasn't just for the wedding.

Seokmin nearly shivered when he felt Seungcheol wrap his arms around him from behind and rest his chin on his shoulder. He swayed slightly to the music, moving Seokmin along with him. His hold around Seokmin's waist was strong, maybe because he needed to hold himself up after the wine, but Seokmin's own mind was fuzzy from the alcohol anyway so he found himself relaxing into Seungcheol’s embrace.

But the moment couldn't last forever- he was going to have to go back to his own apartment that night and they’d go back to just being neighbours the next day.

\--

Seokmin spent the next couple weeks kicking himself for not kissing Seungcheol at the wedding. Maybe if he’d tried he’d at least have an idea of whether he should be spending so much time pining over the man, though he wasn't too sure he had much control over that matter. The plus side of not being able to get him off his mind was that he was remembering his keys as he left the house more often, but that meant he hadn’t seen him since the wedding. Seungcheol had been swamped at work- by the sounds of it he nearly always was- and Seokmin had been busy with his exams before winter break.

He still got texts from Seungcheol nearly everyday, somehow always remembering the days of his exams by either wishing him luck before or asking him how it went afterwards. Seungkwan told him it was a big deal, he had his own schedule but he still managed to never forget the days of his neighbour’s exams. Seokmin insisted that was just the type of person he was and it was just him being kind and supportive, though he still couldn’t help but overanalyze each message, searching for some kind of underlying confession between the lines.

He wanted so badly to relive the day of the wedding, he wanted to hear Seungcheol introduce him as his boyfriend again, he wanted his shoulder to be where Seungcheol rested his head whenever he had the chance to relax. Seokmin figured it was the exact reason he’d blurted out to his best friend Mingyu, that he in fact had a boyfriend when he’d called and invited him to his high school reunion party. It had almost been a defense mechanism, the words coming out of his mouth before he could even think about it.

Mingyu had just warned him Jaehyun was going and that he was seeing someone. Jaehyun had been Seokmin’s crush throughout high school and at the time he believed that he was the love of his life. He’d always felt so high above Seokmin back then, way out of his league- even though they were in the same high school, sitting behind the same desks and wearing the same uniforms- Seokmin still felt so small in comparison.

They weren’t always in class on the same days, since both their schedules were so busy with clubs that they were lucky if they made it to every class in one day by senior year. Seokmin wasn’t sure if the fact that he didn’t see Jaehyun as much as the rest of his classmates made his situation even worse. He never got used to being around him, and his pulse still quickened every time he stepped into the classroom and saw Jaehyun already seated.

Jaehyun had always felt like a faraway fantasy to him: he was popular, on nearly every sports team and most importantly, the star of their school’s basketball team. When he was in class he used to zone out and imagine what it’d be like if he was his boyfriend; the two of them holding hands while walking to the cafeteria together or kissing under the tree in the school yard before their rides arrived. Thinking about him was always a nice distraction while their classes seemed to drag on forever.

Even after they became friends and eventually started hooking up the summer before they were to leave for college, Seokmin still felt like Jaehyun was leagues ahead of him. It had taken a lot of convincing, from nearly all of Seokmin’s friends and Jaehyun himself, that Jaehyun was actually into him too. It wasn’t that he was self-conscious, he’d just never expected anything would ever happen between the two of them. So when Jaehyun actually reciprocated those feelings, he panicked. He avoided being around him after they kissed for the first time. It was likely only due to the parties Mingyu threw in his backyard over the summer that they ever saw each other again after that night, and he couldn’t count how many times he fell for Mingyu and Minghao swearing Jaehyun wasn’t going as well. Or he’d give in after sadly watching the party happen from his bedroom window across the street.

The way Jaehyun would smile at him during that summer always made his head spin way more than any drink in his hand ever could. Sometimes, after they’d had a few drinks and Jaehyun’s hands had found their way under his shirt as they kissed on Mingyu’s porch, Seokmin felt that what they had was real and could last. They may have both been leaving for schools in cities hours apart from each other, but maybe it wouldn’t matter. Seokmin had been pining after him for years, what was a little distance going to do?

But Seokmin never asked and neither did Jaehyun. Mingyu’s last party of the summer was the night he had hyped himself up for, it was the night he was going to properly confess. He ended up drinking too much before the party, telling himself he just needed a bit of liquid courage before he saw him. They never said goodbye, and Minghao stayed by his side as he spent the rest of the night in Mingyu’s parent’s bathroom.

He’d panicked when Mingyu mentioned his name and at the time he felt like he couldn’t show up alone while Jaehyun was with someone else. Calling Mingyu and taking it back was out of the question, mainly because he didn’t want him suspecting that he said it because he wasn’t over Jaehyun, which he definitely was, or at least he’d thought he was. Distance had fortunately done him a lot of favours, since he hardly thought about him anymore, but he had no idea what it’d be like seeing Jaehyun again. They’d never said goodbye, never talked about what was going on, he had no idea if it was just a casual hookup to him or if it could have been something more.

Inviting Seungcheol would be a horrible idea. The situation was already confusing enough, but he’d figured he’d already starting digging himself into this hole, how bad would it be to dig a little deeper?

\--

They left late Friday evening for Seokmin’s parents house after Seungcheol finished work. Seokmin had never understood why someone would own a car if they lived in the city, but he was thankful for it now because there were no trains or buses that reached his hometown. It was the reason he didn’t go home as much as he’d like, he had to depend on a family member to come all the way to pick him up. The ride was over two hours, and they weren’t going to reach his house until around eleven that night, but he hoped it’d mean less questions about Seungcheol from his parents since they’d be going to bed shortly after they arrived.

Seungcheol looked exhausted- he’d been working overtime for the past couple weeks, and this was apparently his first weekend off since the wedding. Seeing Seungcheol again was less nerve-wracking than he’d made it out to be in his head during their time apart. He’d pulled Seokmin into a hug when he’d greeted him at his door, and all his worries about the weekend seemed to melt away momentarily. Seungcheol gave amazing hugs- he was warm, strong and always smelled good, like fresh laundry and shampoo that wasn’t cheap 3-in-1 stuff from the dollar store. Despite how tired he looked, Seungcheol still was as kind and attentive as always. He was the type of person who actually cared about Seokmin’s response when asking what kind of day he had. If it hadn’t been for Seokmin never obtaining a driver’s license he would have offered to drive, though Seungcheol said he didn’t mind, telling him that he found long drives relaxing.

Seokmin’s parents greeted them at the door when they arrived, along with Seokmin’s family’s golden retriever, Honey. When Seokmin was in high school she used to come running to meet him at the end of the driveway when his bus would drop him off, nearly knocking him over each time. Now that she was older she didn’t have the same amount of energy, but Seokmin still ran over to meet her, falling on the ground beside her so she could still pounce on his chest as if she’d knocked him over herself. It’d been months since he’d seen her, and he missed her as much as the rest of his family. He’d owned a dog or two throughout his whole life, so living without one was foreign to him. When Seokmin finally looked up, Seungcheol was shaking his parents’ hands. He’d completely forgotten to introduce them.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Seungcheol smiled at his parents, the sight caused Seokmin’s stomach to flip. He knelt down to pet Honey as well, giving her the same warm smile before standing up straight again. “Thank you for inviting me into your home.”

His parents were going to love him. He was the ideal type to bring home- charming, handsome, and financially independent with a car and an apartment of his own. He’d been so caught up with the reunion aspect of the weekend that he’d glossed entirely over his parents meeting Seungcheol. They hadn’t even properly discussed what they were going to say about their relationship, not that he had any idea what their relationship in general was at this point.

“Seokmin.” He finally snapped out of his thoughts again at the sound of his name. “Should I be making up your sister’s bedroom for Seungcheol or are you two going to be sharing your bed?” His eyes widened in shock and his mouth fell open, at a complete loss for words. Leave it to his mother to be blunt about the situation after he’d seemingly dodged all those types of questions when they’d spoke on the phone.

“We can share Seokmin’s room, thank you Mrs. Lee.” His mother’s face visibly brightened at Seungcheol’s saving words, but Seokmin swore he felt his own drain of all colour. He turned back to rub Honey’s stomach, avoiding his mother’s glance in his direction. He wasn’t mentally prepared enough for this.

\--

“Is everything alright?” Seungcheol hand reached out from the opposite side of the bed and rubbed up and down Seokmin’s arm. It wasn’t too often he had trouble falling asleep- he was a sleep talker who stole people’s blankets only to kick them off through the night- it was usually the ones around him who ever lost sleep.

“I’m sorry,” Seokmin mumbled, embarrassed. Lying next to Seungcheol in his double bed was making him hyper-aware of each of his own movements and yet he still could not stop moving around. He also couldn't quit racking his brain for any explanation to why Seungcheol had agreed to share a bed with him. Was it just in a friendly way? Did Seungcheol think the pretend dating was supposed to extend to his parents as well? His mind was running a mile a minute with theories.

“I didn’t mean to keep you up.” he apologized.

Seungcheol shifted closer to him, wrapping his arm around his front and pressing his chest against his back. “Sometimes cuddling helps me sleep, but if you’re uncomfortable I can move.”

“It’s okay.” Seokmin wasn’t uncomfortable. He may have felt like his heart was trying to leap out of his chest, but he would be lying if he said he hadn’t wanted this badly, and in moments like this he believed Seungcheol wanted it too. There was still a doubt in his mind he may have only been doing it because he felt like he owed Seokmin for the wedding, or maybe he was just holding him so he’d stop moving and he could finally get some sleep.

“Stop thinking.” Seungcheol’s lips brushed against his bare shoulder, giving him a light kiss and causing a shiver to run down his spine. Seungcheol’s voice was rough and deeper than usual and Seokmin could practically feel it in his chest. “I’ll be there with you tomorrow, you don’t have to worry.”

He didn’t bother correcting him, since he’d almost completely forgotten about the reunion after the suggestion of them sharing a bed. Repercussions could be worried about in the morning, for now he felt safe in Seungcheol’s arms and didn’t want the moment to end.

\--

All things considered, the party was going well at first. Seungcheol hit it off with Mingyu and Minghao, although Seokmin found it hard to imagine anyone not getting along with him. Jaehyun hadn’t arrived yet though, and he was beginning to hope he wouldn’t show up at all. Unfortunately an hour into the party Jaehyun showed up with his date- his date that was incredibly attractive, which Mingyu had failed to mention. The urge to bolt was becoming overwhelming, and he eyed the both exits, looking anywhere besides Jaehyun’s direction. Seeming to pick up on the shift in Seokmin’s mood, like he always somehow did, Seungcheol grabbed Seokmin’s hand and lead him out the backdoor.

The night was pitch black, save for the dim light on Mingyu’s back porch, which flickered as they stepped outside. There was a group of people smoking about five feet away from the door, but Seokmin found it hard to focus, not bothering to try and figure out if he knew any of them. Seungcheol’s hand on his back led him away from the house and towards the old porch swing him and Mingyu used to play on as kids.

Seokmin had never been good at hiding his emotions- whether it was holding back laughter, not screaming during horror movies, or stopping himself from turning completely red and giggling around anyone he found cute. But he was especially bad at holding back tears. He could feel the familiar lump forming in his throat as he sat down beside Seungcheol on the swing, trying to swallow it back down and breathe slowly.

“Is everything alright?” Seungcheol’s hand found its way to his back again, rubbing soothing circles. The concern in his voice almost made it all worse, and he could feel his eyes on him, waiting for an answer.

“I’m sorry.” Seokmin’s voice broke into a sob, bringing his palms up to cover his face as his eyes began to sting.

“Hey.” Seungcheol’s voice was soft as he pulled him into his arms, cupping the back of his head to rest it on his shoulder. “It’s okay, what’s wrong?”

“I’m an idiot.” Seokmin buried his face in the crook of Seungcheol’s neck. He wasn’t a pretty crier, in fact Mingyu and Minghao used to tease him for it. The last thing he wanted was for the man he’d been lusting over for months to see him like this, but he couldn’t find it in himself to stop, or even shut up. “I couldn’t even look at him, he probably thinks I’m pathetic.”

“You’re not.” His grip on Seokmin tightened, pulling him closer. “You can talk to me, you know? You were there for me at the wedding, talking to you about everything made me feel better that night.”

“It’s about Jaehyun.” Seokmin’s breath hitched as he tried to steady his breathing.

“You still like him?”

“No.” Seokmin quickly shook his head, almost surprising himself with his answer. “He was the first boy I loved- at least I thought I was in love with him at the time- we never even dated.” He paused to take a deep breath before continuing. “I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Why didn’t you?” His voice was soft and comforting against his ear, it didn’t feel like he was judging him. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s okay. I just never told him how I felt, even after we kissed. I figured he only kissed me because we were drunk.” The wind picked up, rustling the trees around them and causing Seokmin to shiver.

“Do you want my jacket?” Before Seungcheol could move Seokmin hugged him closer, pressing his damp cheeks that were previously shielded by his hands against his chest.

“No.” He winced. “I don't want you to see me right now.”

Seungcheol laughed lightly, pressing his lips to the top of Seokmin’s head. “I doubt seeing you cry is going to make me like you any less.”

Seokmin breath hitched as he sniffled. “Please don’t say that just to comfort me.” His heart pounded against his chest, and he could hardly think straight.

“I wouldn’t, Seok.” Seungcheol pressed another longer kiss to the top of his head, and when he pulled away he rested his chest against the same spot. “I hate seeing you hurt, but I’d never lie to you about that. I like you.”

Unable to find the right words, Seokmin gripped the back of Seungcheol’s jacket as he cried into his shoulder, and he couldn’t seem to calm himself. He thought he had everything at least a bit under control, but Seungcheol had just thrown him completely for a loop. This was what he had wanted and he felt too weak in the moment to stand up and accept it.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything. I know I couldn’t have picked a worse time, but I just haven’t been able to find the right time. Also I was kind of worried you thought I was a creep after inviting you in after we hadn’t even known each other for a total of five minutes.”

Seokmin couldn’t help, but laugh. “I was the creepy one who hung out in front of my apartment door all the time.”

Seungcheol laughed along with him. “You were so cute, you should have seen your face the first time we met, I think I may have fallen for you right then. The wedding is what really did it though, especially seeing you get along with my friends. They can be real assholes.”

“They remind me of my friends.” Seokmin’s breath began to steady again, and he pulled away slightly to wipe his face. “They’re also assholes.”

Seungcheol slipped out of his jacket, placing it over Seokmin’s shoulders before pulling him in again. “I understand if you still like Jaehyun, I just needed to tell you.”

“I don’t like him.” Seokmin sat up, looking him in the eyes. He was no longer concerned about what he looked like. “I can’t do this anymore, Seungcheol. With Jaehyun all we ever did was kiss at parties and it kind of feels like the same is happening with you. I don’t want to pretend to date you anymore.”

“Jaehyun’s an idiot for letting you get away, and I don’t know what happened, but if you need me to go in and fight the guy I think I could take him. He’s a bit taller, but I could if you need me to defend your honour.” Seungcheol smiled reaching forward to brush his finger along his cheekbone. “And if I win will you let me take you on a real date?”

“Don’t fight him.” Seokmin ducked his head and smiled, but he still couldn’t seem to get rid of the tightness in his chest. “I’m just worried, you have your life together and I’m not even a real adult. I don’t know if this could work.”

“I don’t know where you got the idea that I have my life together.” Seungcheol laughed. “You don’t want to know what my student loan debt looks like and my car was my dad’s for years, I never would have been able to afford my own if he hadn’t given me a deal. Same goes for my job, my dad’s best friend is the branch manager and it’s not exactly my dream job. I don’t feel like a real adult either, I’m kind of just making it up as I go on.” He tilted Seokmin’s chin up, smiling warmly as their eyes met. “I’ve only been out of school for a year and I was exactly where you are right now at the time. I don’t care about that kind of stuff, I just know I love being around you.”

“Me too.” Seokmin’s voice was barely above a whisper as he studied Seungcheol’s face. It was his own insecurities that had held him back last time and he wasn’t about to let it happen again. “I want to go on a real date too.”

“Are you free tomorrow?” Seungcheol asked, leaning in and ghosting his lips over Seokmin’s, his eyes fluttering closed.

Seokmin nodded and closed the distance, gripping his shoulders when their lips met. He’d spent several nights thinking about Seungcheol’s lips and how they’d feel against his own, but it was nothing compared to the real thing. It wasn’t long before Seungcheol’s palms were dragging up his thighs and Seokmin parted his lips for him. Neither one of them were too keen on taking their time, becoming rougher with each passing moment. Seokmin moaned when Seungcheol teased his teeth over his bottom lip.

“I’ve wanted this for so long.” Seokmin’s breath was heavy as he spoke, their lips still pressed against each other between kisses. “I wanted to kiss you so badly at the wedding.”

“Me too.” Seungcheol broke apart to catch his breath. “And last night when your body was pressed against mine, I wanted to kiss you all over.” His lips crashed back into Seokmin's before continuing again. “You're so hot, Seok.”

“We should go back to the party.” Seokmin chased his lips again with no intention of stopping anytime soon. “Everyone is probably wondering where we are.”

Despite having been the one who brought up stopping, Seokmin still whined when Seungcheol pulled away. Seungcheol's lips were red and shiny and Seokmin wanted to see just how swollen they’d get if he kissed him a little longer. He looked beautiful and the party suddenly didn't mean that much to Seokmin anymore.

“Do you still want to go back in?” Seungcheol smirked as he smoothed his palms up Seokmin's thighs again, this time dangerously close to his crotch. “Or can I take you home?”

He was never going to hear the end of it for skipping out on Mingyu's party early.

\--

The continuous buzzing of Seokmin’s phone on the floor beside him stirred him awake, and he quickly realized he was receiving a phone call as it went on. He jumped up, scrambling around as he reached for it. He cleared his throat in a rush and forced himself to smile so he could pretend he wasn’t just asleep, and then answered his phone.

“Did you just wake up?” Seungcheol asked, laughing on the other line. “I’ve been texting you for the past hour.”

“It’s Saturday,” Seokmin whined, falling back against his pillows. “Noon isn’t that late.” Suddenly the sound of barking could be heard over the phone, quickly followed by Seungcheol hushing. “Are you with a dog?”

“I tried inviting you,” Seungcheol sighed. “Check your texts, I’ll see you soon.”

Climbing out of bed, Seokmin opened his missed texts, the most recent reading “when you wake up, come over”. He grabbed the first pair of pants he could find, throwing them on before rushing out the door. A few months into their relationship Seungcheol had given him a key to his apartment. It was mostly a joke since they both knew it wouldn’t get much use, but he said it was the sentiment that he wanted to count, wanting Seokmin to know he was welcome over anytime. From then on he usually just kept his door unlocked unless he was out, something he learnt from Seungkwan and Vernon.

Upon opening Seungcheol’s door he was met by a tiny puppy yelping at him with floppy ears and golden fur.

“You finally got a puppy!” Seokmin could feel tears threatening to well up as he watched Seungcheol scoop it in his hands.

“Her name’s Sunny.” Seungcheol hugged the puppy against his chest, and she seemed to calm down instantly when he nuzzled the top of her head. “My friend Jihoon works at a shelter and he’s been keeping an eye out for new arrivals for me. She was rescued from a bad home so she’s a little shy, but I know she’s going to love you.”

“She’s so cute.” Seokmin didn’t want to scare her again so he just watched from afar as Seungcheol calmed her down. “How long have you been planning this?”

“Well, Jihoon called me last week, but they had to give her shots and make sure she was healthy before she could come home with me. It was so hard not to tell you.” Seungcheol squatted, putting her back on the ground again. “I know we’re technically not allowed pets in the building, but I see people with dogs in the elevator all the time and she was too cute to say no to.”

Seokmin approached her slowly, kneeling down far away enough not to spook her, but close enough to hold his hand out for her to sniff. “Is she a cocker spaniel?”

“Yeah, I think she might be mixed, but Jihoon wasn’t even sure of the other breeds.” They both watched as she slowly approached Seokmin, sniffing him before running back towards Seungcheol.

“I’m so excited,” Seokmin had trouble staying still, and he couldn’t wait to be running around and playing with Sunny. She approached him again, this time a little less hesitant and staying a bit longer before retreating again. “I can’t believe you finally got a puppy.”

“You know, I think you should stay the rest of the weekend and help me train her, maybe even into next week.”

“You’re going to have a hard time getting me to leave now.” Sunny trotted over to Seokmin once more, letting him scratch her chin and deciding to stay.

Seungcheol came over to sit beside Seokmin, joining him as he pet the puppy. He leaned forward, placing a small kiss on his lips. “You and your morning breath can stay as long as you want.”

**Author's Note:**

> this is now the longest fic i've ever posted, so thank you so much for reading this!! comments & kudos are always appreciated & my twitter is [@sunshinedokyeom](https://twitter.com/sunshinedokyeom)


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